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The SABRwocky

baltimoronspodcast:

“The SABRwocky” (as aired on ep. 42 of Baltimorons)

‘Twas xFIP, and the LOOGY toves

Did WHIP and wOBA in the wabe:

All BABIP were the borogroves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the replacement level pitcher, son!

The WAR that dips, the K/9 to match!

Beware the high SIERA, shun

The skewed park factor trap!

He took his VORPal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome ISO he sought—

And placing “P” twixt “O” and “S,”

Did draw his laces taut.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

Did PECOTA, with its measures tame

Sink the hopes of he and all

In Pythagoras’s name!

One, two! One, two! Nine innings through

The VORPal blade did wave and hack!

His UZR was weak, it’s true;

His OBP did lack.

Yet hast thou eclipsed PECOTA, son?

Come to my arms, my WARPish boy!

O TrueAvjous day! FR! AA!

He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas xFIP, and the LOOGY toves

Did WHIP and wOBA in the wabe;

All BABIP were the borogroves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

With apologies to Lewis Carroll.

(img: twainquotes.com)

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